Here we go…. I’ve got a two month supply of Fertibella… plus some pregnancy tests and fertility tests. I can’t believe how fast it arrived — less than a week!! According to the directions, I’m supposed to take one tablet daily with meals. I’ll start with the blue month 1 bottle and then move to the pink month 2 bottle. I can also take prenatal supplements alongside this product, which I think I will, for good measure.
I was never very good at keeping journals, but I really need to put my feelings into words. My heart feels like it is breaking… all the time. Every time I hear a child laugh, I die inside. Whenever I see my niece and nephew, a deep longing chokes me up. I coddle my cats and smother my dog. My husband can’t console me when I cry. You’d think I’d just received a death sentence. That’s sort of how I feel, though.
I’m 25. I’ve been married for 5 years already. I’ve been trying to have a baby for 4. The baby hasn’t arrived. There are more than 4,000 babies aborted in the US every day… how hard can it be? If all those unwanted babies can come into this world, why can’t mine?
We did it all, baby….
We got the $50 sperm and motility tests.
We got the $200 blood work to check for egg release.
We paid $200 more for a hormone test.
I was just starting to get scared that we would need to pay over $1,000 for the endometrial biopsy or the HSG x-ray… maybe it would come to the $5,000 laparoscopy or hysteroscopy. I was terrified! Were my internal organs all kinds of screwed up? It’s a hideous, dark thought.
Turns out… it’s my hormones, my doc said! To be specific, I had a progesterone deficiency, which made it darn near impossible for a fertilized egg to implant itself on my uterine wall. The doctor said I should consider myself lucky I didn’t suffer an early miscarriage, which is what happens to a lot of women. He asked if I had had irregular periods (check!), cravings for carbs (check!), breast tenderness (check!), and terrible bloating / cramping when my periods did come (check!) How could we not have seen this before? It just goes to show what a weird mess infertility is.
So what is a woman to do?
According to the doctor, I had 3 options…
1. Eat healthier… we’re talking flax seed, soy, grapeseed oil
2. Alternative medicine… supplements
3. Hormone replacement therapy.
I decided to go with the first two, since HRT has been linked to everything from cancer to stroke and blood clots. In my independent research, I came across an herbal supplement that says it helps women who have progesterone deficiency. It’s called Fertibella. I just ordered it, so here goes nothing!